Responsibility

Today, parents are asked, “What kind of child do you want to raise?” When we ask the question, the answers received generally include similar views: Successful, knowing what he wants, self-confident, able to express himself well, highlighting his talents, happy, able to adapt to the environment he lives in... An educator's answer to the same question will undoubtedly be basically the same. .

There are some values ​​that parents and educators should bring to their children at a young age in order to raise individuals who approach the definition of ideal person. These values ​​have an important place in the adult life of the child; because these values ​​are also the basic keys of a peaceful, happy and successful life.

One of the values ​​at the source of the skills included in the definition of the ideal adult is the "consciousness of responsibility". We can look at the child who takes his job to the end and risks to bear the possible consequences of a behavior he is doing, as a responsible child.

Gaining the awareness of responsibility is a very long process, but it is a value that should be started especially at a young age. Of course, children are not born with a sense of responsibility. But learning to be responsible begins at an earlier age than many realize. From the first moment a baby is born, he is affected by the events he senses around him. The sense of responsibility, which begins to develop with the attentive approach of the parents, their sensitivity to the needs of the baby, and the timely meeting of the baby's needs, begins to settle and become a consciousness when the parents assign some tasks appropriate to the age of their children.

Before we move on to the topic of how to bring responsibility as a value to children, we need to understand what responsibility is.

Responsibility;

1. Obeying the rules,

2. Do not bear the consequences of choices or choices,

3. Respecting other people and their rights,

can be considered as.

But responsibility should not be thought of as doing everything others say. We cannot regard a child as a responsible child who does what his parents, teachers, or anyone else around him says. A child who behaves in this way cannot distinguish between issues that should be prioritized when necessary. For example: A child who has to fulfill a school-related task the next day, while going for a walk in the evening, causes a disruption in his responsibility towards school; The fact that a child with diabetes is unable to offend his friends and eats the offered candy is a sign that his responsibility towards himself has not developed. Behaviors in the examples mentioned above can be considered as an indifferent compliance. However, this is not the behavior pattern we want.

HOW TO GAIN AWARENESS OF RESPONSIBILITY ?

We think that according to the realization of our expectations from our child, he has learned to fulfill his responsibilities or he has not learned. If the behavior does not comply with our expectations, it is necessary to review the process of gaining responsibility. Of course, this process will be experienced differently according to each house and each parent. Because the development of responsibility varies from child to child. “Every child takes on the same responsibilities at the same time.” we cannot say. Children's personality traits and physical structures must be taken into account. However, what is important here is that parents can insist that their child stop doing his job and do his own work. By doing things that their children can do themselves, parents prevent the development of skills such as making decisions, making choices, and acting assertively that they may need throughout their lives. Although there are individual differences, every process of gaining responsibility has "basic" and "immutable" elements.

Informing: In order for the desired change in the child's behavior to take place, the child must first be informed about this change. In order for the child to see this change as a need, it is important to give information about the reasons. It should be explained why the rules are made and the importance of responsibility. If children understand and know why they have to do some work, they will learn when to help their families and when to act independently.

Feedback: It is necessary to inform about the progress after a certain period of time. If there is an increase in the number of desired responsible behavior, it should be motivated with appropriate reinforcements, if there are problems in the emergence of the expected responsible behavior, these problems and their possible causes should be shared with the child.

Reminder: If the desired behavior does not occur, the reminder process should be repeated. This process, which starts with reinformation, should continue until the behavior settles.

These elements described above do not belong solely to the accountability process; These are the elements that should be taken in establishing basic habits, determining the rules, in short, all kinds of measures that will organize our lives, and the behavior can only be settled when approached with a determined and patient attitude.

OTHER THINGS TO KNOW DURING THE LIABILITY PROCESS...

It is necessary to be willing to give responsibility in order to teach responsibility. This kind of approach causes the child to get used to the comfort and cause big problems in the future. The child, who sees that others are doing his own work at a young age, tries to continue this in the future, which causes an increase in the conflicts between the mother-father-child. Because after a while, it becomes difficult for the parents to follow the responsibilities of the child.

As a parent, you must have the courage to stay a little behind and let things happen.

It is necessary to let a child do some work alone. Sometimes it's helpful to let a child do what we know to be wrong so he can see the consequences of his behavior. (You are not teaching responsibility if he has agreed to not forget the school bag without reminding him but forgets to do so and you take the bag to school instead.)

You should always give responsibility by considering the age group and developmental level of the child.

Considering that every child has different abilities, different personality traits, and a different physical structure, of course, we cannot expect every child of the same age to perform the same responsible behaviors. The development of responsibility differs from child to child. However, when we evaluate it in terms of general developmental characteristics, knowing the responsibilities that children can fulfill at home can help us to adjust our expectations. According to this;

at the age of 6;

Dressing and undressing alone

Eating alone at the table,

Ability to collect toys

Being able to fold the clothes he takes off with help,

Ability to clean hand and face,

at the age of 7; (in addition to the above)

brushing his teeth,

Preparing his bag

Finishing what he started

Feeding animals such as birds, fish,

Preparing projects and assignments,

at the age of 8; (in addition to the above)

Self-care and tidying her room without reminding

Ability to transmit messages from school,

Being able to take responsibilities related to their lessons,

9-11 years old; (in addition to the above)

Determining their interests, planning time and making daily schedules,

good use of his time,

Going to and from places outside the home,

Establishing good relations with friends,

shopping,

12-17 years old; (in addition to the above)

Respecting the rights of others,

Being able to offer help voluntarily when there are tasks that require more help at home,

Compliance with return home hours,

      able to fulfill their responsibilities.

Give your child the right to choose: Starting from a very young age, a child can be given responsibility education by giving the right to choose. Offering the opportunity to make choices to the child positively affects the personality development of the child. Ability to choose; It improves their ability to make decisions and take responsibility for their choices, enables them to know themselves better, and helps them to struggle with difficult decisions that will come their way throughout their lives.

Be a model: As in many behaviors, exemplary behavior of adults is important in the process of gaining a sense of responsibility. The attention of adults to the responsibilities of their own lives attracts the attention of young children and they learn better by observing their attitudes.

ASSESSMENT OF THE LIABILITY PROCESS

If your child's level of responsibility makes you wonder, you can evaluate what kind of expectations you have from your child and how much of this your child has achieved under the following headings:

What are my expectations from my child?

What are the teachers' expectations?

How does my child's behavior differ from these?

Do these behaviors of my child negatively affect his/her life? (Does he/she have low academic success, do his/her friendships deteriorate, is he/she always worried because of his/her responsibilities that he/she forgot, or does he/she often get into conflicts?)

Does my child's behavior interfere with the rights of others?

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